Do not try this at home.

Here's another blast from the past, originally posted July 31st, 2005. Sorry for more poo subject matter. I'll try to make sure not to include it in the next. Here it is:

Ok, when I was coming up, I did some pretty shitty things to strangers.

To be quite honest, it wasn't limited to strangers. But strangers definitely got the worst of it.

One of such things was the poopy dollar trick. If you're unfamiliar with the poopy dollar trick, here's how it works: The first step is finding some poop. It doesn't really matter where, or whos, though I find that it seems a lot more personal, and therefore more rewarding, if it's your own.

Next, you'll want to find something to carry the poopy dollar in. Any plastic bag will work, including but not limited to: Beef jerky bags or Glads Ziplock bags. The best choice will always be something you can seal up, to avoid the smell of the poo.

Finally, you'll need a dollar bill. Though I've always used $1 bills, it is my belief that an even larger bill would work that much better. Remember, the trick to pulling this off is to feed off of other people's greed.

Once you have all the items necessary, you're almost there. Preperation is 90% of this particular project. Actually carrying it out can be both simple and fun.

Use the bag to hold the poo and slather one side of the bill. Be careful not to get it too close to the edge. If the mark sees a bit of poo hanging out the side, they won't bite. Next, fold the bill in half, poo to poo. Once that's done, all you need do is take the poopy dollar to a public place. I've found that the best places are usually grocery stores. Simply put the dollar near the entrance/exit and wait. Soon enough, some sorry sap will come by and pick up the bill. No matter what they do with it, hilarity will ensue. Some will examine it, freak out and throw it. F-U-N-N-Y. Some people will grab it and quickly jam it in their pocket. F-U-N-N-Y. No matter what the outcome, if you've got plenty of bills, you're bound to have an enchanting night of fun and wonder.